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[27 Dec 2007|08:01pm] |
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Here are a few more thoughts for you to waste some time reading :-).
I reread some of my old entries and realized what a mental case I've been at times. Haha. This year I've made mannnnny new year's resolutions: but not the standard "eat healthy feel healthy" kinda stuff, but real resolutions. My main one is to be more accepting of things that I can not change. I'm much much happier at this point in my life and it feels good! I heart Hopkins in its entirety (you have to love its quirks), I am falling quickly for someone (who knows if thats a plus or minus), and I just enjoy being. I'm not even really sure what I'm trying to say, but I just wanted to leave my live journal on a happier post.
Happy New Year! :-)
<3
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[27 Dec 2007|07:53pm] |
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After realizing I'm not as smart as I hoped I was, I'm suprised I'm still considering a double major in biomedical engineering and economics.
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| fantastic |
[31 May 2007|09:54pm] |
Wellll I'm back at JCPenney's with a raise and well underway with credit applications. Hah. (maybe I'll make goal this year!) They hired way too many people back into the department this year, so there's an excess of employees and therefore fewer hours right now. I like the girls that I'm working with though this year, I think a little better than last year to be honest.
Even though things are good at penney's I'm still looking for a second job to get me some hours. I def need the hours to pay for things over the school year (even with the parttime job i work during the year)... So if anyone has anymore ideas for me, I'd love to hear them! lol
Besides that, I miss everyone in TWP. I mean I've been back for almost a month now. It just seems like everyone is busy with summer classes and work and such. Hopefully we'll have some good twp fun soon =) <3
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| i love my new hair color btw. :-) |
[22 May 2007|10:54am] |
Summer time and the livin is easy.... =)
So I'm beginning to like the sound of a biomedical engineering major with a double minor in entrepreneurship/management and psychology. I'm excited =) (I'm a nerd I know)
Anywho I miss JHOP and my little Lazear family!!!! 3 and a half months until we are reunited!
Strange? I can't wait to start working? Yeah. I'll regret saying that, don't ya worry!
<3
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[15 May 2007|11:35pm] |
Wow, the school year is over! Unbelievable. This year certainly was a challenge for me and despite the few depressing journal entries you'll see, it really was a good year. I made a great little family at school which I love dearly. I have a whole group of wonderful sisters. I miss everyone tons, but I'm def glad to be home to see everyone here.
Things to look forward to in the next couple of months?
-Lots of birthdays =)
-MY BIRTHDAY!
-Trip to see Yogi
-Trip to see others?
-Summer funnessssss
Oh I need to find a job!!!!!!!!!
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[01 May 2007|02:03am] |
it hurts the most knowing you moved on. i just want you to know that.
other than that ... finals finals finals. time to go home =)
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[17 Mar 2007|01:08am] |
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Truth is, I'm starting to worry about myself a little bit.
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| all good things... come to an end. |
[16 Mar 2007|09:44pm] |
I never update anymore because everytime I go to write, I write a few sentences and then erase them quickly before returning to my previous activities. Hopkins, is well, its Hopkins. I don't think there is really anything wrong with Hopkins, its more a problem with me.
I can't always fake a smile, it gets harder each time I try. School is tough. I seem to lack motivation to get stuff done. I want to do well and succeed, but I want to do that in theory. None of my habits support my goals and everytime I try to start new habits, I break them so quickly. I suck at studying. I guess in highschool I got by on intellect alone, now I need more. I need discipline. Where do I find some? I'm not doing horrendous in school, I just realize I could be a 4.0 student and I'm just not right now. Meanwhile I've obtained 42 credits thus far (APs help loads!) and will have 62 by the end of the year. Enough to be considered a junior basically. I'm going to talk to my advisor about graduating early, I think I could do it. Think of the money I'd save my family, unless of course I decide to try medical school.
I miss colorguard a lot. Being at the guard compeition last weekend made me nostalgic and made me miss everything so much. I know there was always drama and I know a lot of the times I just wanted to leave. However, those were the best years. Those girls were the ones I shared all my time with and the girls I would happily share all my time with again. The only time I've experienced true passion has been in colorguard. That feeling... out on the field or floor.. is something that you can't explain, you can only feel. I want that feeling again. I need to email someone soon about spinning for Towson next year. I'd get to spend more time with Melissa and it seriosuly would help me tons. I wish I could spin Apex or Bpex, but its something I just can't afford financially right now.
Did I mention my self-image is terrible? I feel ugly and overweight all the time. I've tried to lose weight, but once again motivation and discpline are not my strong points. I plan on starting a diet/exercise plan on Monday, but we'll see how it goes. I just want to feel great and happy. I just feel depressed too much, more than I feel the typical college student does. I want that to change.
Have people changed? It's hard to tell. Most people, I think have not changed. Everytime I get back with the gang, I feel right at home, perfectly in place. But then again, college does change people. I know the views of a lot of my friends have changed. College has definitely changed me... Do you agree? Better or worse is the real question. Its really hard for me to get a grip on my thoughts... so hard that I've regressed back to stress induced migraines. It's terribly awesome. Nauseating ones are the absolute best.
I just want to feel at home. At ease in someones strong embrace. I'm happy for all those blissful people out there. I'll join you one day. Hah, my words typed here are just a scratch on the surface. There is so much more to me and what I'm thinking. I am glad, however, that I've finally written something. Improvements soon? Hope so.
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[01 Feb 2007|01:33pm] |
So, I rushed and enjoyed it (even though it was the weirdest experience EVER).
And...
I'm gonna be a Kappa Kappa Gamma girl :-) I'm so happy!
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[25 Jan 2007|03:48pm] |
I think that winter just isn't my season at all.
(Sorry for so many mysteries.)
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[21 Jan 2007|08:35pm] |
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I just seem like I can't get a grip at all.
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[11 Dec 2006|01:50pm] |
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I'm tired of not being good enough: not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not athletic enough, not smart enough, not focused enough, not hardworking enough, and not interesting enough. Nothing is ever enough. I'm just tired of everything...
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| suddenly I see |
[26 Nov 2006|11:23am] |
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Oh home <3 I had a lovely time at home, although I wish I had seen some more people a little more I did get to hang out with my favorite girls lots, so that makes me happy :-) Wednesday was lunch with the girls and then hanging out out stef lewis' house. Thursday was Turkey Day with the family and then nighttime at Lauren's with Chrissy La watching Grey's Anatomy and playing free Scene-It.. haha it was amusing. Friday was Happy feet with Lauren. It is clearly the best movie of all times! So adorable! I'm marrying on of the Mexican penguins! :-) Then me and Laur drove around TWP until 1-ish and stopped at Niscia's until I almost died from allergies lol. Saturday was shopping, mall with Laur, decorating, and then over Laur's house with Tor and Leigh Ann. She's the Man is an excellent movie! Then I went home since I wasn't feeling that great. And now, today is back to JHOP. I missed them kids ;-)
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[07 Nov 2006|02:32pm] |
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It's been awhile since I've updated and therfore I'm not quite sure what is important enough to tell everyone. Lazear is wonderful. Hopkins is wonderful except for when they are giving midterms. I went to D.C. and Fellspoint for Halloween. I'm becoming an expert at cutting class. I like spiking tea at midnight with Hilary, Katelyn, and Yogeeta. I like homeless cows. I had an A in physics until today. I had a C in Calc until today. Yay for failing all my midterms today. I'm going to be visiting Melissa on the 17th most likely. Yayness for that! One day I want to have a three sexy amigas reunion. There is a boy. I like naps. Study parties with backstreet boys and no studying are fun. Hellz yes for covered grades, a gift from Johns Hopkins for first semester = <3. I'm excited to see everyone over Thanksgiving! It's time for a break! Oh Borat was funny. Dear Eagles, what the hell are you doing? PLAY BETTER! <3 Me ....I know you guys like my random entry.
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[19 Oct 2006|04:26pm] |
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Damn-it... I wish I had fixed things before it was too late... :-/
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[13 Oct 2006|02:35pm] |
Damn, life is pretty fucking sweet.
TWP I'll be home next weekend (21st and 22nd)!! Can't wait to see some of you guys!!!
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[26 Sep 2006|01:37pm] |
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So I really haven't updated about anything specific lately.. and the truth is I don't think I plan on it. I love my little home away from home. I <3 my friends. Dining food is starting to suck/become repetitive, work is starting to increase, and drama has already emerged. But I don't care because I'm happy. Yah, you heard right, I'm happy.
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[22 Sep 2006|03:56pm] |
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Lauren is coming in one hourrrrrrrrr....... I <3 her and can't wait!!!!
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| argh |
[17 Sep 2006|01:53am] |
Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.
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[17 Sep 2006|01:45am] |
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I'm gonna make the worst BME ever. I love just hanging out. Lazear is so much freakin fun. I like being random. I played the nerdiest game of Zooma Zooma tonight. It was amazing. I love awesome people. I have a headache though now which kind of sucks. It also might bet the reason that this entry isn't super coherent. Maybe I'll write a better one later.. Goodnight <3
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